"It started out as a feeling, which then turned into a hope." --Regina Spektor (from Prince Caspian)

{most of this is from a previous journal entry, written last week}

So, why C.S. Lewis? 

Besides the whimsy and the fairytale, i love C.S. Lewis for the essence of his works, for the almost-ancient feeling that i get when i read his words. This semester, i will use this little corner of the internet to record my musings, findings, and all other sorts of -ings related to Lewis while i'm enrolled in a C.S. Lewis class.

This last week, i read this in the Screwtape Letters:

"The more often [one] feels without acting, the less [one] will be able to ever act, and, in the long run, the less [one] will be able to feel." 

Apathy-

1. A lack of emotion or interest

2. A lack of sense of purpose

3. The opposite of love

For as long as i can remember, i've been afraid.  I've been afraid of a lot of things, the dark, plane crashes, the phantom of the opera, loneliness, disease, just to name a few. But nothing scares me quite like apathy.

 i believe that we were made as feeling creatures for a reason. While for some of us (i.e. myself) might sometimes feel too much, i believe that our innermost feelings, those that belong to our eternal-selves, can be compasses that direct our lives. Not every feeling should be acted on, of course, but when we feel something good, something holy, God wants us to act on it. We are not meant to be passive creatures.


To feel nothing, to feel apathy would be to not feel alive, to not feel that holy connection to heaven. There have been moments in my life when i have been on the brink of apathy, and i didn't feel very alive. So, to feel more alive each day, i want to act on my feelings, to live more intensely and purposefully.

Because, then i will feel more love which i guess is what matters most in the end.